Myself Self Help: TRUST – Is it Given or is it Earned?


Trust. Some would say its an emotion while others may say its a logical reference in how we feel towards another person. Then some would say it is both. But what and where does it actually stem from. When we meet someone new some people will use their first impression of that person as their directive to trust that person or not. No doubt sometimes those first impression are very accurate. We tend not to trust people right away. Then there is the other side to that. We may think that someone is not to be trusted or they seem unpleasant when in reality, this person has just lost a loved one, or perhaps they are having financial problems or someone just robbed their house, you get my drift. When these things happen to us none of us feel really good at that moment. Sometimes it can take a few days for the negative feelings to pass. Unless its down right obvious I don’t think first impressions hold much worth when it comes to making a permanent conclusion about a person. When we trust ourselves we can trust others. This occurs because we know we will be alright even if that trust we’ve given to someone else was a let down.

Iyanla VanSant defines this perfectly when she wrote the following in her book: Until Today!  She states: “Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happens, you will be better off than you were at the beginning.  Anything less than this is not trust.”  Just think about that for a moment. That is a perfect definition of trust. So what about that saying; “trust is not a given, trust is earned.”  Some would declare that statement as the holy grail saying for trust.  It is very accurate, no doubt. When we meet a person we tend not to trust them for fear of being lied to, let down or hurt by them.  We automatically grab hold of that holy grail saying in order to shield ourselves.  Our apprehension to trust is rooted on feelings of insecurity and ego.  While our ability to trust is founded in feelings of safety and acceptance. So when those lines are crossed we are left with emotional wounds that scar over to create a tuff emotional shield which we rely on to protect us over and over again. What happens when we rely on this shield is it tends to also create a distrust within ourselves.  The soul essence that we call trust resides within us. We decide to trust and what we have decided to believe is reflected.

Rhino represents fear, uncertainty, untrust.
Child represents all of us. Children of the
universe. 

We tend to be so wrapped up in ourselves, so self referencing, so insecure that we are driven to protect our ego’s without question.  While instead we should allow and embrace trusting.  As we learn to trust more within ourselves we grow and become more confident, sure footed and above all happy.  There should always be a balance of trust that we give and trust that is earned.  In keeping to this balance it allows us to experience true essence of trust and to deflect the negatives that mistrust can cause us.  One thing is for sure there is most likely more positive experiences to come about when we trust ourselves and when we allow ourselves to trust others. When we feed our own trust and allow it to present itself, it will flourish in our lives and our spirit.  While on the other hand if we feed our own trust with poison of negativity, fear, resentment, then our trust will crust over and harden. Which will in turn lead us through our lives with fear, no base of assurance and no true self love or true happiness.  Because our thoughts create form on some level within. All that our physical experience is, is the reflection of our thoughts.  Enjoy the day.  

Copyright(c)2015. TRUST – Is it Given or is it Earned?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.  



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